Getting to Ellen—The Story Behind the Story

Some ask why I would chronicle my journey from boy to girl, with the implicit thought being maybe the story isn’t relevant to “mainstream” straight society. Others question whether writing about my gender journey and the loss of Lydia simply prolongs everyone’s suffering—Lydia’s, my daughters’, and mine.

Understanding that these are two very separate and distinct questions, let me approach the question of “why” head-on.

I wrote Getting to Ellen because I believe others can be helped by knowing that you—and you alone—have the power to change your life. Certainly, changing genders is a bit on the extreme side, and not something undertaken lightly. But many are caught in the wrong job or career or wrong marriage or living arrangement. Some suffer from addictions or other adverse behaviors because they’re unhappy with their situation.

In short, we humans have a tendency to build lives that aren’t necessarily what we’d choose if we could do it all over again. Some of this—as Getting to Ellen explores—is because of fear and a desire to avoid making hard decisions. Some of it is due to immaturity; we simply get into life situations before we are experienced or old enough to appreciate the consequences of our actions.

Regardless of how we get there, for many of us, life becomes something to endure rather than something to live or enjoy. When things get to that point, desperation, despair and depression—the Three D’s—can set in.